In my sex therapy and couples counseling practice I find that most lovers barely begin to imagine and share succulent lusty fantasies. Instead, they are mired in routine, boring sex lives that are not as satisfying as fantasy-fueled orgasmic bliss.

If they get into fantasies, they typically view porn or read romantic novels—which is someone else’s fantasy. There is nothing wrong with porn (except for violent porn, child porn, incest and other exploitation), but why not tap into your own creativity and share and act on mutually thrilling fantasies together?

A lot of people fantasize when they masturbate, but often the fantasies are from porn instead of from their own erotic thoughts. It is common to fantasize about ex-lovers who were especially exciting, which is fine. But what about using your current fantasies to orchestrate actual sexual behavior with your lover?

In my illustrated humor book, Sex from Aah to Zipper (at Amazon), I define fantasy as “The application of hope and imagination to sex.” Delightful sex is enhanced by titillating shared fantasies. You should not put down or make fun of your lover when she or he shares a personal fantasy. Instead embrace and act on fresh fantasies!

A fantasy is an erotic map—a sexual script—intended to be enjoyed in your mind. A shared fantasy guides spontaneous adventure with no holds (or positions) barred. You can create your own erotic longitudes and latitudes on your way to oceans, rivers and mountains of orgasmic glee!

I view fantasies as the last frontier of sex. Playful fantasies spice up sex! The best sex occurs when you laugh yourselves into bed or onto a blanket by a raging river. Erotic talk helps us build fantasies so we can elaborate on each other’s scintillating thoughts.

It helps to integrate shared fantasies into your sex life. There are products which can help you get started with fantasies. One is the “Fantasy Box,” which is a box of fantasies, including sexual props to make the fantasy come true. An imaginative woman in L.A. created a business where she sends lovers a new box each month. There are discussion questions and there are items for fun-filled sex included in each box.

The Fantasy Box is what I call the HelloFresh of sex. Only instead of food with instructions you get fantasies with instructions. I utilize this product as well as my own instructions, ideas and home-play to help my clients improve their sagging sex lives. I also help couples fine-tune their sex lives with tempting fantasies.

Some might fantasize how they can avoid the Coronavirus while celebrating sexual enthusiasm. Imagination is the key. You have to learn to visualize what you want to actually experience new sexual encounters.

A healthy dose of humor facilitates playful fantasies. Rather than taking sex too seriously, why not view sex as undulating bodies savoring sensual feelings and relishing happy orgasms!?