People with sexual problems will not find relief from insurance providers. Certified sex therapists are out of network, with almost no exceptions. You pay for what you get. I would hope that a relationship is worth more than attempting to find a cheap therapist.

Marriage counselors are not sex therapists unless they are also AASECT certified. The best sex therapists have a background in sexology more than marriage and the family. AASECT is the main organization certifying sex therapists. has a list of certified sex therapists in every state. I am one of them.

I get clients who stop seeing me to find a cheaper therapist.  Most of them come back, because they did not get the help they needed. It is accurate to say that certified sex therapists are the only therapists who can fully address sexual issues.

I find that some clients are quick to spend money on fancy restaurants and NFL games, but they skimp on therapy. None of this makes sense! It is simply not clear thinking.

Sometimes one person wants to see me, but the partner is insistent on finding someone who is cheap. This often causes problems in the relationship, resulting in arguments. Some believe that specialists like sex therapists should charge what general therapists charge. None of this makes sense.

The same is true for “sex addiction.” Some seek sex addiction counselors, but most find out that all they will get is a bunch of moralizing, and little to no real help. These counselors lack the training to help couples, or to deal with a sexual problem. There is no such thing as sex addiction.

Some are out of balance, or obsessive compulsive. This does not make them addicts. There is no diagnosis for sex addiction, because there is no well-designed research to support such a diagnosis. Those who are out of control with porn or paying for sex should consult with a sex therapist—not a sex addiction counselor.

Saving a buck often results in compromising a relationship. What could be more important than a healthy, enjoyable relationship? An NFL game does not compare with a well thought out treatment plan by a certified sex therapist. Clients are confused by Psychology Today’s list of sex therapists, because most of them are not valid sex therapists at all! Buyer beware!

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