It is a wonder that Internet porn is the cause of much obsessive, compulsive viewing by men, and by some women. I have many clients who are compulsive about Internet porn. They lack balance. They would be better off masturbating to their own fantasies. Many of them are so obsessed with porn that they fail to have satisfying sexual relationships. This does not make them sex addicts, a topic I deal with in a previous blog.
Most visual porn lacks a script to make it erotic, and to give it meaning and context. Porn on the net is similar to watching a video of open heart surgery. Penises and vaginas thrust together, but who are these people? What does it mean?
Some visual porn includes a meager script such as a horny new neighbor comes over to borrow sugar and ends up initiating casual sex, or a soccer mom meets and quickly seduces a soccer dad after departing the practice field. By contrast, erotic novels include a script with plenty of erotic dialogue. Readers may be far more excited by what happens next than they would be by viewing instant sex on the net.
If you look up porn on Google, you’ll find plenty of free, low quality short tubes. Most of it is totally unimaginative and boring, and some of it is unhealthy. If there is a script, it often involves incest, forced sex, racial stereotypes and an unbalanced emphasis on sexual acts on the edge or over the edge. I have the image of sexual illiterates who produce this stuff with money as their motive, but even the money isn’t what it used to be for porn purveyors.
When looking up porn on the net, be careful that your computer does not get a bunch of viruses. You won’t get viruses from reading Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James. This bestselling novel has been labeled women’s porn, but I have seen lots of guys reading it in airports and elsewhere. They must be searching for real eroticism too.
Perhaps more men are tiring of the lack of healthy eroticism and fantasies in Internet porn. If so, visual porn will continue to wane in favor of literary eroticism. To survive, porn will have to become more sophisticated and erotic by including scripts and better acting.
R-rated movies have scripts, so they are sometimes erotic. But like Internet porn, they are at times violent and exploitative. Sophisticated men and women favor bodies which undulate in unison for a reason–with wild, uninhibited fantasies orchestrating lusty and passionate encounters and relationships.
We are more likely to overcome sexual repression if we find meanings and motives which make sex electric with mutual lust and with genuine caring. We are a culture of sexual extremes and contradictions. Internet porn reflects and affects all of this by looking for more taboos to break. In the process, educated viewers are often repulsed and bored.
Sex should never be uninteresting. American culture has avoided healthy discussions in the schools and elsewhere, so it is not surprising that uneducated and unimaginative people turn to the net for titillation, and of late, to erotic books for explicit sex without censorship.
Censoring unimaginative and boring sex is not the answer. The answer is to create more erotic depictions through both visual and literary mediums.