If you have a good memory, you vividly recall past sexual adventures. Erotic memories of hot sex with your partner and with other lovers are triggers for sex in the present. Couples can relive their torrid past in the present when they recall earlier adventures together. Remembering a romantic experience with passionate sex arouses the mind and body for similar excitement now.

Memories become fantasies, and fantasies enhance satisfaction. If you have a vivid imagination and you orchestrate scintillating sex by sharing fantasies, your sex life is rich with lust and love. Memories are often shared with a lover, and memories become colorful movies in your mind while pleasuring yourself. You can fondly recall meeting a stranger and cavorting in a hotel room or on a beach after developing some rapport.

The movies in your head should be more titillating than most porn. Literally, think about it! There is no admission fee for your brain’s movies. If you have had a great sex life, you can still enjoy current orgasms while remembering the variety of lovers and adventures you have savored. Now I recognize that not everyone has had a superb sex life to recall, but you can still use your imagination to fantasize in the present.

Having a good memory and an erotic imagination is all that is required to use the past as prologue for the present and future. Fantasies are underutilized by most people. Where do they go for fantasies? Most men and more and more women go to porn, but unless you search well you will be inundated with unimaginative sex. The trend in recent years has been to incest and other violations of trust—not to more healthy sex.

Porn is a stimulus for lazy masturbation, but you can do much better with your own memories and fantasies! Having a playful, erotic imagination and a precise memory is all you need to fine-tune current orgasms.

There are exceptions to the porn-is-boring theme, but you usually have to pay for more sophisticated exceptions where there is more of a script to make the sex a thrill. The heavy reliance on porn does not bode well for creating your own fantasies.

Pornographers are not all alike, but a large proportion lack knowledge about what makes sex a joy. Most cannot spell, and their writing is horrible. So do not rely heavily on porn. Develop your own fantasies—sometimes from your memories. The relationship between erotic memories and current fantasies and new adventures enhances sexual enthusiasm.

Memories and fantasies are the final but not fully realized frontier for wild sex. Playful fantasies orchestrate real sexual enthusiasm. We are not too sexual. We could be more sexual if we utilize our erotic fantasies and memories. In my sex therapy practice, I help people expand their erotic potential. Onward!