Sexual Fun

What’s Funny About Sex Education? A Lot!


  I have always appreciated the healing power of humor in my practice, not just for things that ail us, but for relationships.  We have to be able to see the humor and laugh at ourselves, and with our partners, in certain situations. Sex is no exception. One of the great joys in my career was the chance to author a humor book called “Sex From Aah to Zipper: A Delightful Glossary of Love, Lust and Laughter,” that is available in paperback, and that you can read for free, in part, on this Website. I once had the opportunity to meet the very famous Woody [...]

What’s Funny About Sex Education? A Lot!2024-04-17T17:56:16+00:00

Technology can Distract from Sex…or Enhance it. Set Tech on Vibrate!


  In Seattle, we are a land of technology. But technology can interfere with intimacy if we're always on the cell phone or at the computer, or watching television. Or, it can sometimes enhance sex in the case of vibrators —a vibrating page or a vibrating cell phone—if we put it where it counts!  It might even induce orgasm!  So I think we should help ourselves with technology, not use it to detract from intimacy.  I explore this and many other ideas in sex therapy.

Technology can Distract from Sex…or Enhance it. Set Tech on Vibrate!2018-12-06T21:17:08+00:00

Go With the Flow for Better Sex & Marriage: Can you say “H2-Ohhhh?”


Where do we usually make love? In bed!?  We can be a lot more adventurous! I think we need to go somewhere near water—particularly running, streaming, undulating water like the ocean or a river in the mountains—so we can make love with the passion of the running water.  Any water—well, not a faucet—but any kind of running water is romantic and powerful and adds to the tempestuous nature of making love. When I chose the locations for my two offices, I put them both on the water. One is on Lake Washington, and the other one is in Poulsbo on an [...]

Go With the Flow for Better Sex & Marriage: Can you say “H2-Ohhhh?”2021-04-08T19:47:47+00:00

Fifty Shades of Grey — Using Your Gray Matter!


Should sex be viewed strictly in terms of black and white, right and wrong, romantic love vs. pure, pulse-racing lust? Or is sex more prismatic, open to wider interpretation and exploration? That ought to be the pivotal question to arise from the film based on the most popular fan fiction about sex in recent times. In this case, finding the answer on the screen of your neighborhood cinema means using your gray matter. Inspired by the bestselling book with the same title, 50 Shades of Grey illustrates the confusion and competition between often opposing sexual motives and meanings. The leading man, Christian, is [...]

Fifty Shades of Grey — Using Your Gray Matter!2021-04-08T19:44:48+00:00

Sleepless, but not Sexless, in Seattle: Your Most Thrilling Erotic Flashbacks


What’s the hottest sex you ever had? Meeting up with a high school girlfriend or boyfriend and (finally) getting it on—all the way? Letting the woman down the street seduce you? Being tied up, blindfolded and teased into multiple orgasms? These are erotic flashbacks—or flesh-backs! Almost everyone has one, two or many. The more erotic memories you can conjure up, the richer and more robust your sex life can be. We can use erotic flashbacks to enhance our sexual pleasures, recreate that hot night when you agreed to a threesome, let your lover insert ben wa balls, and lose yourself in [...]

Sleepless, but not Sexless, in Seattle: Your Most Thrilling Erotic Flashbacks2021-04-08T17:32:35+00:00

In Defense of Playful, Undulating Lust


When I coined the now-popular concept “Sex-Positive” in 1976, sex-negative social and political forces escalated their misguided attack on lust in the name of being “responsible,” or to avoid being a sinner. I knew that lust was under attack from the religious right-wing, as well as from some extreme feminists who viewed sexiness as a threat to pristine independence. The war against pornography was mixed with sexual harassment statutes that failed to distinguish between healthy flirtation and the misuse of power in the workplace. In short, it was a war against lust in a time when the sexual revolution had peaked, [...]

In Defense of Playful, Undulating Lust2021-04-08T17:14:12+00:00

Is a New Sexual Revolution Coming?


It is common to refer to the sexual revolution of the sixties, but that revolution actually peaked from 1973 to 1975, and many of the changes in our culture have been integrated in our lives up to the present. The pill, a vibrant economy, relaxing what is considered moral, and less fear of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) all coalesced to encourage sexual freedom with a variety of lovers. This was all pre-HIV. Woodstock and other celebrations of peace, love and lust really happened. Women initiated sex a lot, and some movement toward equality occurred. This does not mean the sexual revolution [...]

Is a New Sexual Revolution Coming?2021-03-31T22:18:08+00:00

Why More Counselors Should Refer to a Sex Therapist


Every therapist or counselor should be licensed, and should have a scope of practice that is made clear in any advertising, websites and listings. If the scope of practice is marriage and the family, or general mental health issues, counselors should refer out for sexual problems unless they also are board certified sex therapists. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Some therapists do not do their homework to help a client find a suitable sex therapist. Other counselors know of sex therapists, but decide they need the income, so they don't refer out—which is a huge ethical issue. I often [...]

Why More Counselors Should Refer to a Sex Therapist2021-03-31T22:11:56+00:00

Sexual Chemistry is All In the Nose


There is always a need for more definitive research on pheromones, but it is fairly clear to most people that when you are drawn to someone's natural smells (not perfumes and colognes), it is because these smells attract and turn you on. Pheromones are extremely strong substances which give off an irresistible and not totally conscious scent that spontaneously attracts us to particular others. Animals have pheromones too. Watch dogs sniff each other! Those whose ravenous pheromones lock into each other usually don't resist acting on their highly charged arousal. We cannot control whose pheromones turn us on, but can [...]

Sexual Chemistry is All In the Nose2018-12-09T20:15:51+00:00

The Joys of Vacation Sex!


Most couples have more and better sex on vacation—even if they are way for a lusty weekend. They can turn off their cell phones and their laptops, and focus on pleasuring each other. Getting away often does wonders to your sex life. You can choose to relax, laugh and have orgasms galore! Making love outdoors is sometimes possible on vacation. I suggest a picnic lunch, a blanket and a roaring river as the perfect atmosphere for languishing, decadent sex. Moving water (not a faucet!) adds to erotic passion. The rapids with cresting white water and curious, appreciative bear and deer [...]

The Joys of Vacation Sex!2018-12-06T21:11:29+00:00
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