Our society is becoming more repressed about sex. Censorship is more common, which affects basic sex education and sexual freedom. There are constant efforts to censor explicit sex and pornography on the Internet.
This may seem to be an easy question to answer, but it is not. A brief perusal of Google reveals that there are so-called “sexperts” who claim they can solve any sexual problem. Some are “sex coaches,” which is very problematic because coaches have little to no real training, and they cannot be licensed and no one can get insurance reimbursement from them.
Self-pleasuring is essential for the total appreciation of orgasms with others. Those who do not get aroused by themselves and/or with others for long periods of time may lose the capacity to be aroused. Sex researchers Masters and Johnson concluded that you either use it or lose it. The genitals must be stimulated, or you lose the capacity to be aroused!
Sexual pleasure has been limited by Supreme Court and legislative mandates nationally and state-wide. Women’s right to choose with their own bodies, the lack of separation of church and state and the right-wing shift in the Supreme Court combine to limit sexual freedom. This is not a good thing.
There are plenty of studies about incest. Incest is not a behavior that should be normalized through the eyes of unbalanced pornographers. Porn actors act out these scenes, but I wonder if they feel they are in any way contributing to a balanced view of sex or relationships. My guess is they rationalize that it is just a fantasy, and so it cannot be taken seriously.
Every week I get calls and email inquiring about how I design a treatment plan for relationship and sexual problems. I see each person separately and immediately I see the couple together in a three-hour block.
If you desire an exciting intimate relationship, you have to achieve a reasonable balance between emotional and sexual connection and work and children.
It is common to exclaim that physical attraction is the motivating factor for dating and having sex with a new person. Although how we look influences who we are attracted to, our unique smells in the hair in our bodies is the main attractant. The smells are called pheromones. All animals seem to have them.
Men who do not ejaculate when they want, or who do not ejaculate at all used to be referred to as retarded ejaculators—hardly a gentle or an accurate term! Now they are called delayed ejaculators, but some do not ejaculate at all. The opposite of premature ejaculation, men who last too long, or who cannot ejaculate are often frustrated, and their lovers sometimes are equally frustrated. Some women take it personally—thinking that they are not sexy enough for the man to ejaculate.
Our media and education systems rarely find anything positive to say about sex. They insist on emphasizing the dangers of sex with little to no recognition of sex as a pleasure without constant worry and obsession with sex as a problem.
